icourtland!

one of the ongoing bits and pieces of my life seems to revolve around a group of doctors that apparently take delight in making me uncomfortable.

earlier this week it was the strange man over at Quest Diagnostics as he was puncturing my outer casing in order to take samples of my inner fluids (OK – blood test). he is normally VERY good at this, but for some reason on Tuesday morning it really hurt. and he was taking less than most visits. this is an ongoing test series for my cholesterol “problem” and to make sure that the drug i am taking for that isn’t causing other problems along the way.

today was my second ever EKG test. this one was a “stress test” variety as opposed to the “non-stress laying down” type. basically this consisted of a nice little lie down, a simple standing then heavy breathing while standing and then the fun part – on a treadmill. trying to get MY heart rate up to what is considered 90% of “normal” is a laugh at best, but they tried. starts with walking, then a bit faster, then faster again which is followed by courtland’s shin splints and being about to curse the whole room before it was over. sit down, and more blood pressure and EKG buzzing until a normal, low resting heart rate.

to accomplish all of this meant i was wired up just a bit less than the average Borg to a rolling cart with a keyboard and monitor. lots of up and down lines telling everyone what was happening in my insides.

but here comes the best part … to attach the 9 or 10 sensors to me, the strict Russian woman had to SHAVE where the panels had to be placed. i had NO choice in this, but made it plain that i was NOT happy about it. i am a pretty furry fronted guy, and now i was going to have (ooops – i DO have) little shaved holes in my fur. joy.

so here she comes, the nursing student looking over her shoulder no less, with a disposable single bladed shaver. no shaving cream, foam or gel. just gets right to it and SCRAPES the fur off – slowly. THEN she follows with alcohol to clean the area as i stifle the major “ouch” – this is followed by rubbing the conducting gel into the freshly scraped and alcoholed bare patches on my chest and middle with a rough cloth. i think i may have just left my body at that point.

all in all – test is done – results were good and nothing of worry to report.

and now i have a “date” with my hair trimmer. see if i can even out this mess …