icourtland!

more than a bit over-tired after what was a really amazing weekend. at some points in my day today i have been forcing myself to keep my eyelids open, and while watching TV in the morning as i eat breakfast that should not be happening.

Marcus and i went to the Pantheacon for the weekend down in San Jose. a super big Pagan conference – over 2,500 of us – that is held every year over the President’s Day weekend. we arrived around lunchtime on Friday, JUST in time for the opening ritual that was being led by a couple of the folks in my coven along with some other groups in the festival. it was such a cool way to start the weekend. and i really just did not slow down the entire time we were there. back to back presentations, workshops and rituals over the whole weekend. so much in fact that we had to take Monday off from any of the events because we were so wiped out.

we met a LOT of people and made some new friends. i had people come up to me, recognizing me from a pagan men’s site that i am on. and such compliments! my head was spinning from all the things people had to say to me. lots of hugs and flirting – never really had that in my life, so i was really a bit overwhelmed by it at times. in a good way, but for me it was still a bit of an odd feeling. and a lot of my shyness just melted away. what a truly transformative event.

i learned a great deal, and have a lot of ideas and things to incorporate into my practice. a couple of them are everyday things and a few new paths and ideas to explore. there was a lot of trance-work and shamanic journey work, something that i need to explore a bit. i am still trying to process some of what i experienced in a few of those.

but the weekend is over and i had to come back to the “real” world. over the weekend i had received an email coupon from Border’s Books for 40% off a book, so i headed over there earlier today to see what i could find. i mean come on – 40% off? i HAD to go take a look.

and then it happened – the one thing that always seems to happen after an amazing weekend that almost takes you down to a level lower than the lowest low after being on the highest high that you had all weekend long. the thing that happens that makes you feel powerless in that one moment to make any kind of change in the world. the thing that happens in one flash, the thing that you know you can do nothing about and that confronting it would make the situation so much worse than it already was.

and what really was the white-hot poker that brought me down from such an amazing time this weekend?

i overheard a woman walking with an older friend as they passed a display near the kids section. “oh no” she said. “she isn’t allowed to watch ANY of those Harry Potter movies, not yet – not until she is at least 13.”

“those movies feature Witchcraft!”