icourtland!

its all about approaching those issues head on…

so – no shock to anyone really that i have a few “touching” issues that have cropped up over the years. not really obvious to most folks i guess as i do hug when prompted, and at ren faires i am very “touchy” – just not so much on an everyday basis. i still have not had a massage – though tempted and prompted by many to do so – because i just really don’t like having people touch me very much.

another wonderful issue deals with body image in general. as i think on that and write this i guess the two are pretty much related. the main thing besides the extra weight that i have “found” (as opposed to people “losing” it) is that i have sprouted a lot more hair on this body than i would like. more than i can easily manage and i really find it more than a bit ugly and disgusting.

now i don’t mind body hair, in fact some furry boys can be really hot. it really depends on the person in general, some “wear” it better than others. BUT – i do not like hair on the back and/or shoulders. personal preference here – just what i do and don’t like – we all have out tastes in stuff – just the way it is. thing is, or course is that is where i seem to be growing the most amount of all the extra fur.

so i hit two major issues at once. i went to get my back waxed.

shirtless – so body and extra weight exposed to someone i’ve never met. hairy bits exposed – and under scrutiny by that same person. hard to hide. and then – he will need to not only touch, but cause pain while doing it. i though this was supposed to be POSITIVE reinforcement to rid ones self of these kind of issues. yeah…right.

overall – not really pleasant, but looks and feels a lot better. painful, but not so much that i won’t go back. and it gives me even more incentive to lose more weight so that i can be shirtless and not feel bad about it. i can even wear a sleeveless shirt now and not be embarrassed about it!

wonder what i will hit next?