the bit at the end were Eddie says ” I think she’s cleared a blockage or something” is about right on target for the end of 2008.

it has been one crazy crazy year, one full of amazing highs and lows. but i will tell you that i have learned a lot this year, made some pretty astounding changes in my life and grown much more than i would have thought possible.

somehow i managed to start the transition from being one of those people up there doing things i could not imagine myself ever doing, to BEING one of those people doing those things. i have learned so much about myself in the process, where my borders and blocks are, and how to push through as much of them as i could. i know so much more about how to even go about pushing them, more than i think i learned in many combination of years leading up to this one.

there have been stumbling points, and those are sure to still cross my path from time-to-time - but i am not letting them stop me anymore.

i go into 2009 with an intention and a focus - with the power from within to manifest what i need in this world. i am part of a magical community that is really creating change and growth for more than just ourselves. i have a home in a city that i love, with an amazing man at my side who encourages me to move and grow and create and be more because he knows i can be. i have an amazing and astounding abundance of love manifesting all around me all the time, and for the first time in my life i am really taking notice of it all. and i am thankful on a soul-deep level for these things and for so much more.

all of us - one step at a time - has the ability to change the world, and we are all doing just that every single day in every single breath that we take. just by choosing the path of love, and choosing to be happy we become the change and the growth.

2009 is a year of positive focus and intent.

so mote it be - and so it is!

but seriously, how many times do we have to hear this song? is there nothing else?

this morning i almost jumped out of bed to go and look, sure that the story would be different this morning. this was not to be. but still, i held so tight to the hope. still over 2 million ballots to check, and with a lead of just over 400,000 there was still so much possibility, so much promise. it could still happen. we could still win.

5 minutes ago i finally pulled up enough courage to look again - and i can hardly stop the tears.

people in this state voted more rights to animals than they did to me and Marcus. caged animals now have more freedoms than i do. i have nothing against animals - but that is just not right.

hope has just been ripped from my soul.

but the tree is sick, and is far far far too large for the space. it drops leaves like there is no tomorrow that cover every available space possible. it makes clean up back there a complete nightmare. by the time you spend an hour raking leaves and hauling them out, you have no energy for anything else. and then the fact that it causes so much shade that other plants suffer from too low a light. the weirdest thing is the fact that it is blooming a ton of pollen right now! that’s right - pollen blooms at the start of September!

as i look out from my desk, the amount of light in the kitchen right now is like i have the lights on at night, only brighter. it is a little bit odd to see. i am almost afraid to go see what the process looks like right now, but i will go in a moment or two.

stump grinding (doesn’t that sound somewhat dirty?) to come - can not wait for that sound to start! the chainsaws are not all that bad at the moment, but i know more of that is to come too.

think i will place a candle on the old stump-space once they are gone.

gonna miss ya’ mr. tree…

The Knight’s City Guard

Take Which Chess Piece are You Test? at HelloQuizzy

as a bit of a preface, several months ago i was bouncing along the interwebs, as i do, and discovered that one of my all-time favorite musical groups from the roaring 80’s was coming together for a brief reunion tour. unfortunately at the time it was just a dozen or so shows in the UK at the time, so i was happy to see them touring, but not so happy that it was not in the US. then, a few weeks later they announced US dates - including one here in the Bay Area! a was just a buzzy little monkey! needless to say we got tickets!

well last night was the show - and so i finally got to see Yaz perform - and in their actual first-ever performance here in the US! they were scheduled to show in Vegas the night before, but i read that show was canceled, so we were the first!!

MUNI and BART cooperated all the way there - we exited in Oakland just a block from the wonderful Deco-perfection of the Paramount Theatre - the doors were open already so no wait in line outside at all. the pre-show DJ was spinning up a storm with lights zooming and flashing all around the main performance hall. a short wait for a couple of well-made cocktails, and a bit more of a wait for a couple of t-shirts (required) and then off to our seats.

and those were next to perfection. not too far so we could really see what was going on, and not so close that the level of sound could potentially blind us. and we sat with nervous anticipation noticing how simple and bare the stage was. one simple microphone on one side, and a simple computer stand with an Apple PowerBook and a small-ish keyboard right below it.

only a little bit after we settled into our seats and were watching the extremely boy-heavy crowd, the DJ ended his set and took a quick wave before walking off stage to at least polite applause. we were primed and we were ready - bring ‘em on!!! and a few minutes later - there they were!

no hesitation - they just jumped right in and the crowd exploded. and we danced, and we sang, and we clapped along and were filled with memories, sound and emotion. i was finally seeing one of my all-time favorite Divas belt out her best and i was in my own little slice of heaven. i will admit that Alison was a bit over-miked and the reverb was a bit much, but the sound hit me full in the chest and i was just vibrating.

and i had so much fun along with my dancing around like a mad man just watching Alison. in the beginning she barely did a back-and-forth sway to the music, but after a while she seemed to get more into it and started dancing. i knew those classic 80s moves - i did those classic 80s moves. at the very end of the show she kind of “cut loose” compared to earlier in the show, and i just laughed and smiled and sang louder and danced harder.

the show was pretty short - they after all did only have 2 albums to pull from - but it was paced well and timed out really well. i don’t think i could have asked for more - well i could have but i was so happy to have what i got that i would not have done so.

getting home with all the other boys crowded onto BART and then MUNI was as smooth a trip as i have ever had. and i was right back in my room with iTunes ready and playing Yaz remixes until i finally crashed for the night. …sigh.

one more of my Divas to see - anyone know how to stalk Kate Bush?

the last real post was way back on Imbolc, so i misses writing about Ostara entirely, even though it was an amazing night and i had a lot of stuff going on. that night followed up by a Brotherhood of the Moon full Moon circle in which i also had a lot to do really drained me. probably why i did not write a blog entry about them.

the big CAYA Beltane was last Friday night, a day late but what can you do? we try to get as close to the right day on a Friday or Saturday night and just celebrate like it is the exact date.

we had this at a private residence up in the Oakland hills. the lady that offered the space to us has been attending our circles on and off for a while, and had a space that she had created in her large backyard garden that needed people to feel really like true sacred space to her. and what a garden it is - it held about 40 of us a little on the tight side, but was so beautiful and perfect for the night. surrounded with flowers and trees, a beautiful altar set-up and 2 fire pits burning high.

and the whole event was to be a masquerade, so everyone was in some kind of costume and had masks on, from some very simple ones to some that were quite ornate. the masks and costumes combined with the wonderful garden made the whole night feel like a fairy excursion. magickal indeed!

the big surprise for me was when a little less than halfway through ritual when it was time to call and crown the May king and Queen. i knew this was part of the night’s events, but i did not know that they would be calling MY NAME as the May King! so much for having a night that i got to just kick back and celebrate instead of presenting or “working.” so i approached the center and was “challenged” to prove my worthiness of the role, and then afterwards a crown of leaves was placed on my head and i was named the May King. i really felt pretty special, and later having everyone pass between the fire pits to be welcomed and acknowledged by the May King and Queen and bowing to each of us was humbling and really made me feel quite special.

it had been a weird emotional week for me, and having this happen let me put a lot of that aside and let me know that i really am on the right path for me and doing the work that i am supposed to be doing. it has been a long time since i felt that special, and even more rarely in a large group of people. my heart was smiling quite a lot for the next several days.

but then back to the real world - been busy working and trying to keep as caught up as i can with 2 magazines at the same time. trying to get out of the house and do some walking every day as i can. just the day-to-day stuff and life as usual.

as long as i make the time for the celebrations and the magickal times, the everyday will just have to be what it is.

1. Neo-Pagan (100%)
2. Unitarian Universalism (95%)
3. New Age (82%)
4. Liberal Quakers (81%)
5. Mahayana Buddhism (74%)
6. Scientology (74%)
7. Secular Humanism (74%)
8. Hinduism (72%)
9. Jainism (71%)
10. New Thought (71%)
11. Reform Judaism (71%)
12. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (58%)
13. Bahá’í Faith (58%)
14. Taoism (57%)
15. Sikhism (56%)
16. Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (54%)
17. Theravada Buddhism (51%)
18. Orthodox Judaism (50%)
19. Nontheist (48%)
20. Orthodox Quaker (48%)
21. Islam (44%)
22. Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (23%)
23. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (22%)
24. Seventh Day Adventist (20%)
25. Eastern Orthodox (14%)
26. Roman Catholic (14%)
27. Jehovah’s Witness (11%)

so - what about you?